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Pictures from my birthday Visit!!!

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Just to see you smile

I went to the temple the other night with friends. I stood in front of it looking at it. Then a picture popped into my mind of Jesse and Jaymie walking out of it with their little girl after her being...

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Cry Baby Lindsey

I wish people could understand how I am feeling. It's so annoying having these moments where there is so much pain and then I start to cry. I wish they could understand. I am going through HELL right...

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Tomorrow

Tomorrow is a day of happiness and sorrow all in one. Tomorrow Henslee will officially be Henslee L Maughan. It hurts, but is dim because of the joy I feel for her to have a mom and dad. She is so...

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Some new pictures :)

The court date went well. Everything went fast and was fine. I got to meet a lot more of Henslee's cousins and family. I will get to meet even more on Saturday. I can't wait. But I can wait for the...

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RANDOM thoughts

Saturday went well.. Everything is final. It is a numb empty feeling that I can't explain. It feels like I can't ever see her again. It's so weird. I know I can but I feel like I have no say on...

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7 months

Today Henslee is 7 months. She is getting so big and time has just flown right out the window. She is in Utah with her family and is just so happy to be up there. I got a picture of her today which I...

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I LOVE YOU HENSLEE

This past weekend I got really sick so today I took work off to relax and get better. I never take work off. It's been a god morning. Woke up about nine and I'm still sitting in bed :). I have been...

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LIFE IS HAPPENING AGAIN

I miss Henslee, but am moving on. I feel that as time goes on my sorrow becomes less. My hole gets smaller. Things are happening for me!! I have a ton of amazing options in my life and am so excited to...

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28 hours!

I GET TO SEE HER IN 28 hours from right now!!!!!! I am the most excited person in the world!!!! She makes me so happy and seeing her makes my life so much brighter and wonderful!!!

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SO HAPPY

It's been a while since I have posted. I have been super busy with a ton of work and stuff. This week has been awesome!! I got to see Henslee TWICE this past week!!! I called her parents on Wed. after...

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New pictures

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August 11

This blog has helped me clear my head a ton through this process. I think that I will probably write less and less now that my life is moving in a different direction. I honestly can say I never...

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benefits!

I am so gratefull for my open adoption!!!! This past week has been amazing!! I drove up to Utah with my boyfriend and one of the nights we stayed in Logan (Nibbley) with Henslee's gradparents! They are...

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Forever Friends

So I am so in love with this guy and I am so blessed to have met him. I honestly think that it was because of the fact that I placed Henslee that he came into my life. I can't believe that it hasn't...

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ALMOST A YEAR!

Henslee is a year in less then 2 weeks!!! It's crazy to think how fast time flies! She can crawl now and is so cute!! I miss her so much but am so happy she has the GREATEST parents EVER!! I love Jesse...

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Life after a change!!

I know I stopped writing on the blog because I said that I've moved on in my life and most of my healing was over and then I started a new blog of Jared (my husband) and I's life together. But I do...

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4th of July

This is Henslee with her new baby brother Nixon who id my best friends birth son. I'm so glad she has a little brother now :)Henslee has been in Utah since the end of June which has been so sad for me...

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i love you little one

Dear Henslee,I have so many unpublished posts on here I didn't want people to see. I might not even publish this. Depends what comes from my brain tonight. I love you more then words can say. I miss...

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Pictures!

My birthday visit back in may. We got some professional ones done a few weeks ago but I dont have them yet. soon :)

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I never left her!

Tonight I am crying. Tonight I am sad! Today 3 years ago I signed the papers to place my beautiful little girl for adoption. Every day since has been a struggle. I am a mother who is grieving. People...

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March 15, 2013

I decided I wanted to write a small example of how many times a day I think about my princess.Yesterday: I woke up and saw her picture sitting on the desk as I left. Got in the car and headed to work....

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you are there and i am here

I miss you Princess! You are my hero and best friend! I love you and hope all is well. You just keep smiling and I will always be here for you!Love, your guardian angel

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I am a Birthmom

I am a birthmom. Many people don't know this about me because it's not something I go around sharing with everyone. I wish I could though because to me talking about Henslee (my daughter) is my most...

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some pictures together :)

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